Adding realism to scenariosMany scenarios include the submissive being taken by "force". One fun technique that can make this more fun is to buy cheap clothing from a thrift store that can be torn, sliced, or cut off the submissive. Cheap, disposable clothing can lend a fun air of realism to the scenario.
Extended Bondage For people who like bondage, one thing that can be fun is to have the submissive sleep bound. This is most easily done if the submissive's hands and feet are bound together; extended bondage in one position (as, for example, if the submissive were tied to the bed) can become quite uncomfortable. Note that if you do this, you should not leave the submissive in a room alone, and you should bind the submissive in a way which can be released quickly in case the house catches fire !
With practice, it is possible to train a person's body to accept vaginal and/or anal penetration for extended periods of time. You can, for example, have a submissive wear a dildo vaginally throughout the day, or make a submissive wear an anal plug as he or she does errands or housework. The key is to start small--a dildo or anal plug that seems quite small at first can become too big after a period of time--and not push the submissive if it becomes painful. Patience is essential.
What this does is makes it impossible for the submissive to ignore the penetration, whatever else he or she may be doing. This in turn can keep the submissive constantly thinking about and constantly craving sexual stimulation.
I have even made my lovers keep a dildo inserted as they sleep--which tends to make the night filled with nonstop erotic dreams...
Of course, this can be adapted easily for male submissives as well, by having them sleep with a butt plug inserted.
This is a fun, and frustrating, technique that can bring some of the spark back into sex. There are a hundred variations, but the basic idea is simple: prevent your partner from having an orgasm for a length of time (a day, two days, a week, whatever you want). You shouldn't make it easy; you can, for example, require that your partner have sex one or more times a day, or masturbate regularly (this works well when combined with a ritual of some sort), but your partner is not allowed any sexual release. Over time, the sexual tension builds up, and your partner becomes perpetually aroused.
When done over a period of several days or longer, this technique creates a very powerful level of sexual excitement. When you do finally allow your partner release, it's an extremely intense experience.
Sensory Deprivation Tactile senses are enhanced when other senses are taken away. One way to make any experience much more intense is to tie down your partner, then blindfold your partner and also prevent your partner from hearing. The blindfold is easy; preventing someone from being able to hear is a bit more difficult, but there are many ways to accomplish this.
The most straightforward is to use a pair of common earplugs (the kind made of soft wax that seals over the ear works well; I also like the soft conical memory-foam earplugs you can find at a drug store), earmuffs, or both. Being unable to hear creates an interesting and often profound psychological state of disconnect from your partner, which can make sexual experiences more intense.
Some BDSM shops make special hoods called "ball hoods" which are designed to cover the eyes and ears; they're expensive (and psychologically intimidating) but work well.
For a more high-tech approach, you can use a pair of headphones--the kind that fit entirely over the ear--connected to something that produces static, like a TV with no signal (or even a tape recording of static).
In any event, a partner who cannot see or hear will tend to feel other things much more intensely, so combining bondage and sensory deprivation with other ideas on this page works very well.
Human Sex Doll This is a good way to explore your partner and get your feet wet in D/s. The premise is simple: the submissive partner is a living sex toy, and allows the dominant to put him or her into any position and take any action, and the submissive partner remains completely passive throughout. The submissive partner simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him or her into, and does not take an active role in any way whatsoever as the dominant explores the submissive.
This works best with a female submissive, and is especially good for those of you with an objectification fetish.
Choose a specific period of time, such as one particular day, when your partner is required to be available for sex at all times, regardless of her state of arousal. During this time, she is required to do whatever is necessary to keep herself ready for sexual penetration or intercourse. Periodically throughout the day, you should take advantage of her availability by taking her sexually, without warning and regardless of what she's doing at the time. Keeping herself available and well-lubricated is part of her responsibility; she should be ready for you constantly, at any time. Note that care should be taken with an unaroused partner; good lubes are quite helpful here.
Eroticising everyday activities There are a number of ways you can integrate D/s into things that normally don't have any connection with sex, eroticising them. For example, you might go into a pet store and have your submissive try on various collars right there in the store, then buy the one that looks the best. Or, you might send the submissive partner into a grocery store to buy innocuous things which suggest a sexual context--such as a cucumber and a box of condoms. This creates a psychological effect where the submissive is convinced that everybody knows exactly what's going on (and he or she may be right...).
Sensation play This is a technique suited for anyone with a very sensual approach to sexual exploration. The idea is very simple; start by blindfolding your lover (and tying him or her down, if that sounds like fun to you), then subjecting him or her to a wide variety of different sensations. For example, you may stroke your lover'sbody with ice, or drip hot wax on his or her body, or caress your lover's skin with soft fur, coarse sandpaper, and other textures.
A bit more intensity can be had by using a dull butter knife you've kept in the freezer for a few hours (the cold edge of a dull knife can feel very sharp!).
There are many techniques involving D/s in a public space, particularly where feelings of vulnerability are created.
Send your partner to work wearing a piece of very sexy lingerie under her clothing (or, if the submissive is male, wearing a pair of women's underwear); this makes a constant, discreet reminder of his or her position. Or, if you're feeling a bit more risqué:
A rope harness can be made with thin twine or cord. Tie the harness around your partner's torso (easy-to-follow instructions for tying a basic rope harness are available
here), and then have your partner wear the harness to work or while running errands, beneath his or her clothing. As the person moves, the harness shifts and moves against his or her body, constantly reminding the submissive that it is there.
This technique is good for long-distance relationships, or if the dominant partner will be leaving home for a time. Make a list of actions or commands, one per page, on a series of sheets of paper, and seal each one in an envelope. Put a random number on each envelope. The instructions sealed into each envelope should direct the submissive to open another envelope, perhaps immediately or perhaps the next day. Create some dummy envelopes too, so that you'll know if your submissive partner opened them. (By keeping the scenarios sealed in envelopes, you can preserve the suspense; the submissive can't open all the envelopes and read them all at once.)
Each envelope should direct the submissive to do something sexual that will take a fairly good length of time.
The human brain is a remarkable organ; creative, good at pattern matching and association, and capable of learning. This affords all manner of ways to have some kinky fun.
One idea that works particularly well is to condition your partner to want something which he or she normally wouldn't want, and to anticipate and even ask for things that test limits.
Pick something that's within your partner's hard limits, but that normally your partner would never vountailry want or ask for. Something that you might otherwise use as a punishment is good; something your partner finds humiliating, for example, or otherwise challenging to endure.
Describe how you are going to do this thing to your partner. Take your time; let the apprehension build. Explain in loving detail what you're going to do, and how it's going to feel. When your partner is writhing and twisting in apprehension, explain that you're not going to do it until they ask you to. And tell them to make it convincing.
Don't give it to your partner right away. Order your partner to keep asking for it until you are absolutely convinced that they want it. Tell them to beg for it, and to describe how badly they want you to do it. Only after your partner is begging and pleading should you do to them whatever it is.
The interesting thing about doing this is that human responses work both ways; our emotional state influences our actions, but our actions also influence our emotional state. A person who finds himself or herself begging for something will really begin to want that thing, even if he or she would not ordinarily want it at all!
Another fun and kinky way to play with the mind's incredible flexibility is to use good old-fashioned operant conditioning in the bedroom.
Pick a word, or a name, and say it when your partner reaches orgasm. Keep saying it as your partner comes. Continue to do this every time you have sex; gradually use the word just the instant before your partner comes, then a little bit longer before orgasm, then a little bit longer...
With work and practice, it's often possible to train your partner to orgasm whenever they hear that word. Like, in the mall, in the office, anywhere.
Conditioning (part III) Another take on conditioning is to find some kind of object--a piece of jewelry like a ring or bracelet works well--which the submissive partner will wear only when highly aroused.
First, arouse the submissive partner, by whatever technique you like. When he or she is extremely aroused, or close to orgasm, have him or her put on the jewelry. (You can, if you like, refuse to let the submissive partner orgasm, and keep him or her on the edge of orgasm for an extended period of time.) Remove the jewelry if the arousal starts to fade.
After a while, the jewelry itself will become associated with arousal. When this happens, it will be possible to become highly aroused simply by putting on the jewelry.
This works particularly well with male submissives, but can be adapted to female submissives as well. It's a two-part process.
The first part is to have the submissive wear a bell or chime on some part of his or her body during sex (with male submissives, tied around the base of the cock is a good place to start). When you do this over a period of time, the submissive will begin to associate that sound with sex.
Then, after you've done this for a while, have him or her wear it other places in public--for example, to work or while shopping. It does not need to be worn in the same place; wearing it around an ankle works well. The sound will constantly remind the submissive of sex, and will help to keep him or her in an aroused state.
Distance need not be a barrier to sexuality. There are a number of things you can do to keep the sex life interesting even when you're separated. Some of the ideas already mentioned here, such as sealed lists of instructions, work quite well over long distances; others are made easier by Webcams, phones, and other modern conveniences.
Surprise Beginnings This is a good way to start a scenario or an evening's activities. When the submissive is away, perhaps at work or at the store, take a brown paper bag and place a set of restraints (ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, or the like), or a blindfold, or both, in it. Set the paper bag near the bedroom door (or, if you have enough privacy, near the door to the house!), and tape a sheet of paper with instructions on it on the door. The sheet should instruct the submissive to strip completely, open the bag, and put on the restraints/cuffs/blindfold before opening the door. The submissive is not allowed through the door until he or she is properly prepared.
Naughty boarding school student
(This is for male submissives)
A variant on the classic "naughty Catholic schoolgirl," this fantasy scenario features a male boarding school student who is caught by the headmistress doing something bad--masturbating, reading a dirty magazine, or that sort of thing. The stern headmistress (or headmaster) must then discipline the schoolboy. Spankings and other corporeal punshment is a good place to start; or perhaps he will be stripped and made to stand in the corner, or be stripped and have his genitals bound, or be forced to beg the headmistress or headmaster for permission. In any event, if he becomes aroused during the punishment, then he will be in much more serious trouble...which may include more punishment directly to the submissive's genitals.
Variations on this scenario include the submissive being "caught" by the babysitter or other caretaker.
Pony play is traditionally done with female submissives but works just as well for male submissives. The submissive is treated as a "pony," and fairly elaborate scenario can be constructed around the buying of a new pony, the humiliating rituals of checking teeth and genitals for health problems, and the teaching and learning of new gaits and tricks. For example, the dominant can stand still with a crop, with the submissive on a tether (attached to a bit or even to nipple piercings), and have the submissive run in circles around the dominant until he or she reaches a constant speed for 'walk', for 'canter', for 'gallop', and so on. The crop can be used for 'motivation', "Get those knees up!" for example. For this type of pony play is that all you really need are a bit gag, some rope for reins, a 'hitching post', and space.
A variant on this is adding a 'pony tail' (a fall of hair attached to a butt plug) which can be fun to comb, to braid, and even to tie bows in.
Ghost This is a role-playing scenario for three people, all of whom are lovers. One of the three players is a "ghost," invisible and inaudible to the other people. The two people who are not ghosts have a hot-n-heavy make-out session on the couch, while the ghost does whatever he or she likes to the other two people. The two people can not see or hear the ghost, but they can feel what the ghost does--so they blame the things on each other (for example, if the ghost gropes someone, that person will believe the other person did it). The ghost is free to do whatever he or she likes and touch or tease the others howeverhe or she wants--completely blameless.
An interrogation scene is a role-playing scenario where one person knows some information that the other person is trying to find out. The trick to an interrogation scene is to have some specific piece of information, which the submissive partner knows but the dominant partner doesn't. A good way to do this is to shuffle a deck of cards and have the submissive secretly look at the top card in the deck; the dominant's job then becomes to get the submissive to say what card it is.
A basic interrogation scene might start out with the dominant "capturing" and forcibly restraining the submissive, perhaps by stripping the submissive and tying the submissive to a chair or to the bed. The dominant then begins "torturing" the submissive to get the information. This "torture" can combine many of the ideas described here--clothespins, spanking, paddling, mock-"rape," and so on. If the submissive doesn't turn over the information, the dominant can keep escalating the interrogation, gradually moving to more and more intense activity, until the submissive cracks and tells the dominant the information. If you're interested, you can find out more about doing this kind of thing
here.
The setting here is straightforward: the dominant is a security guard, and the submissive has committed some infraction--perhaps trespassing on secure property while walking home late one night.
The security guard confronts the offender, and takes the offender back into the security room, where the offender is subject to a humiliating strip search. the secuirty guard explains that standard policy is for the police to be notified and the offender is to be booked for criminal trespass, but that other arrangements can be made; at this point, wishing to avoid a night in jail, the offender does whatever the security guard instructs.
As a variation, the security guard is required by company policy to videotape the search, to prevent liability problems; after the guard and the trespasser reach their agreement, the guard continues to videotape the trespasser while the guard molests him or her, just to add to the humiliation...
The Prize In this scenario, the submissive is a dancer at an "anything goes" nightclub. As a special promotion, the club has sponsored a drawing; the winner of the drawing gets full and complete use of the stripper for an evening, and the stripper must allow the winner to do whatever he or she wants. The winner takes full advantage of the prize, using the stripper as a sex toy; the stripper must be completely obedient and allow the winner to do whatever the winner wishes, regardless of how the stripper feels about it.
The submissive in this scenario has a secret past--some dark, shameful thing he or she has done, which his or her spouse absolutely, positively must never learn about. One day, a person out of this dark past shows up on the submissive's doorstep, with photographs and videotape in hand, threatening to expose the submissive's secret to his or her spouse.
Desperate, the submissive bribes the blackmailer with sexual favors, trading sex for the secrecy. the blackmailer may make any demands on the submissive's body; the submissive is forced to comply, or be exposed.
This scenario is best with some prior planning; arrange a night in a seedy motel at the edge of town.
In this scenario, the submissive is an innocent victim, and the dominant is a desperate criminal. The dominant carjacks the victim's car to escape police, not allowing the victim time to escape and driving too fast for the victim to jump out of the car. The carjacker drives to a seedy motel on the edge of town, where he or she decides to take advantage of the turn of events by raping the victim in the run-down motel room.
The Photo Shoot This is a fun scenario with a bonus: a little something after it's done as a keepsake.
One person is a professional photographer, specializing in erotic and sensual photography. The other is the client, who wants a special set of photographs.The client commissions the photographer to do a sexy series of photos, in whatever pose the photographer wants.
After the shoot is over, the photographer reveals a catch: the photographer wants payment for the shoot in a...special form. Rather than paying the normal fee, the client will pay the photographer in sexual favors. The client renders payment by becoming the photographer's plaything, agreeing to do whatever the photographer says. The photographer may even do a second shoot to record the events...
This can be a fun prelude to the "Secret Past" scenario described above, where later the photographs are used to blackmail the submissive into giving sexual favors.
The Pirate This is a basic roleplaying scenario. You're the rapacious pirate plundering the village; she's the innocent maiden in the local town. (It works particularly well if you have an eyepatch and a bandana.) She's at home alone, minding her own business, when you come crashing through the door. She struggles, of course, but she's helpless to resist you. Swooping down on her, you bodily rip her clothing from her and pin her against the wall. You hold her there by the wrists while you explain what you're going to do to her. Then, finally, you ravish her until you're thoroughly satisfied.
Dinner and a Movie This one explores the psychology of power exchange. One of you agrees to be the submissive for the evening; the other is the dominant, the maestro, the one whose word is law. You go out for an evening on the town--a formal dinner, perhaps, and maybe a movie afterward. The dominant should establish a few rules beforehand; for example, the submissive is not allowed to speak to or have any contact with anyone except the dominant. So, for example, when you're ordering your meals in the restaurant, the submissive cannot tell the waiter what to bring; he or she must tell the dominant, who will then tell the waiter. (Or, you can turn this around; the dominant speaks to nobody except through the submissive.) Rules like this are fun to play with, because while the people around you may notice something is going on, the won't know exactly what. As the evening progresses, the dominant can find all kinds of delightfully subtle ways to tease the submissive.
The key to enjoying this kind of scenario is to keep it quiet; it's great fun if nobody else has the slightest idea what's going on. (To an aroused submissive, it will seem like it's obvious and that everybody knows what's happening--and that's part of the fun!)
In this game, the dominant is the evil mad scientist, and the submissive is his helpless experimental victim. The mad scientist (who for effect can be wearing rubber gloves and a disposable laboratory gown) has the subject tied to his examining table deep in the heart of his laboratory, and can perform all manner of experiments on her. He might, for example, probe her in various places using any one of a number of suitable laboratory instruments (vibrators are good for this). Perhaps while he's doing that, he might put clothespins on her nipples, to see how they respond to compression. Maybe he'll want to experiment to see how long she can be stimulated without being allowed to climax. He could keep her there through the long hours of the night, conducting endless experiments to find out how many times she can climax, or how large a probe she can accept, or how deeply she can be penetrated...you get the idea.
This starts as a romantic evening at home. It can be dinner for two, or cocktails, or simply wine in front of the fireplace. In any event, after kissing, cuddling and necking for awhile, she refuses to go farther. Slapping him, or pinching him in the middle of a clinch, should be last ditch actions.
Finally he reaches his limit. When she rejects his demand that she "put out", he ties her up, then has his way with her until she begs him for release.
Crime and Punishment Make up some silly rules, the violation of which is grounds for arrest. One such "rule" might be Attempted Seduction; another could be Aggregated Sexiness, or Possession of a Dangerous Body. Or she can to wear hooker clothes, and stand on the corner of Driveway and Garage Door when he drives home. She makes him an offer, only to learn that he's a vice cop.
In any case, she's placed under arrest. He makes her "spread 'em", frisks her, and ties her hands -- it's been a busy night, they're out of handcuffs. This can also explain why she's tied to a chair in the squad (bed) room instead of going to lockup. If she smarts off to the arresting officer, he might even gag her.
Depending on your own particular tastes, she could get a bench trial and be sentenced to a spanking. Or she could bribe the officer with her body...
Switch Tease Before anything gets underway, she ties his hands and blindfolds him. Then she puts on a sexy outfit that he likes her to wear. (Have you ever had to sit and listen to a woman change clothes?) When she's ready, she removes the blindfold, and proceeds to tease her prisoner unmercifully with her body. At some point, of course, she makes a mistake. Perhaps his pleas to be allowed to touch her make her careless. In any event, he gets loose, siezes her in his strong, masculine arms, and proceeds to tie her up. He then drives her wild with desire, until, standing over his captive, he slowly strips . . . Okay, you get the idea.
These kinds of things all qualify as "doing" BDSM; there are endless variants on these ideas, and a whole rich territory outside these particular scenarios to explore. Some people might be interested in doing this sort of thing only occasionally, and alternate between who's the dominant and who's the submissive; other people like to make dominance and submission a full-time part of their lives. The point is to have fun with it; discover what arouses you and do it!
Exchange of Power
(Good for bondage fans, rather than D/s fans)
She dresses in full Domme gear -- black lace bustier, long gloves, stockings and high heeled boots -- or a reasonable and affordable facsimile. She also needs a weapon -- a whip is of course traditional, but a toy pistol could also be used. She struts out and confronts him, orders him about like a mere slave. Perhaps he goes along for a bit, lulling her into false security. Then he swings into action, knocking her talisman of power from her hand. Perhaps he gives her "The Kiss of the Petite Mort"--a kiss so romantically powerful that her will is completely sapped. Or if they want to play a little rougher, he simply clips her (lightly!) on the jaw, knocking her out. Then he ties her up. She struggles fetchingly in her unyielding bonds, demanding release until her gags her. Then, slowly, he has his way with her helpless body . .
Playing Army This one can be played either of two ways: Either the resistance fighter has been captured by the local garrison -- tied to a chair and interrogated as to the location of the secret base -- or the soldier has been caught by the local guerrillas, who are known for their ruthless treatment of the Occupation forces.
There are two costume choices. Either he puts on a "uniform" of dark green work pants, T-shirt and combat boots while she wears a partisenne costume of satin skirt, striped T-shirt, beret, and heels. Or he wears the beret and stripes as the Partisan while she wears a military-looking skirted suit with brass decorations and boots.
Pick a war, pick a side, have fun with it. In any case, the captive should manage to seduce the guard and escape.
Burglar
(This is for guys to spring on girls)
Call your lady friend. Tell her you've heard that there are Burglars in her neighborhood, who prey on the type of young, beautiful, single woman who traipeses around her apartment at 8:00 in the evening wearing sexy lingerie. They tie these women up, ransack their bedrooms, then Have Their Way with their helpless victims. They seldom even have to break in, because these women are the scatterbrained type who leave their front doors unlocked.
I mean: Lay it on with a trowel. Make it abundantly clear to your friend that she should be lounging around her place in lingerie with the front door unlocked at 8 o'clock tonight.
Obviously, you go over to her place at 8, wearing a burglar costume: Black shirt, black slacks, leather gloves, a swag bag, and a mask of some kind. When you buzz, announce "Burglars!" in a friendly voice (assuming there's nobody else in the lobby) Go up to her place. Open the door. Tiptoe around until you find your lady, hopefully dressed to please you. You could "chloroform" her by holding a handkerchief soaked in cheap cologne lightly over her nose and mouth for a few seconds; Or she could obligingly faint at the very sight of you. Or you can simply seize her in your strong, manly arms. The result is the same: She gets bound and gagged in her bedroom, where she must sit / lie helplessly while you go through her dresser drawers, take her costume jewelry, rummage in her purse, and generally violate her space. Then you can violate her. After you've taken everything of value, you leave her tied up and go. (NOTE DANGER WARNING ALERT PAY ATTENTION! Do NOT go out any doors that lock, period!) Just go a short distance away. Wait a few minutes. Put on a different shirt, and take off the mask. Then go back into the bedroom with a cheerful, "Here I am to protect you from the burglars -- Heavens! What happened!!" Untie her, take her in your arms, comfort her an any way she may desire. See how many ways she can show her gratitude for being rescued.
In this version, she's the burglar -- black leotard, black tights, high-heeled boots and mask. She sneaks into his apartment, and begins rummaging through his things. Suddenly the lights go on -- she's caught! He ties her up to hold her for the cops. She pleads with him, and offers *anything* if he will let her go. . . .
This is a complex role-playing scenario good for psychological interplay. In this scenario, one partner is possessed by a demon; the other partner is a member of the clergy called in to cast out the evil spirit.
The demon does not want to go, of course, and will do anything, up to and including trying to seduce the clergyman, to escape. Complicating the scenario is the fact that the person possessed by the demon is sexually chaste and naive, and is quite shocked by the things the demon is making him or her do; complicating it still further is the fact that the clergyman is also sexually naive and inexperienced. So the evil demon forces a sexually timid person to seduce the inexperienced priest in some extremely vulgar and profane ways, much to the chagrin of the person whose body the demon has inhabited, and is using...
This scenario can allow you to really play up the virgin/whore dichotomy. It also allows for a great deal of very kinky humiliation play, where the person possessed by the demon will describe himself or herself in graphic and vulgar terms, and perform very kinky actions, while still trying to "resist" doing these things. Will the priest be able to cast out the demon before both people lose their purity? Probably not...
This is a scenario that's similar in some ways. It's also psychologically complex. One person is a brainwashed cult victim recently rescued from the clutches of a cult; the other is an unethical deprogrammer.
The deprogrammer is trying to undo the effects of the cult brainwashing. During this process, the cult victim becomes confused, and loses all perspective on the difference between right and wrong. The unethical deprogrammer takes advantage of the vulnerable cult victim by making the victim do things for the deprogrammer's own twisted sexual gratification.
The REAL Republican Platform
Still the creepiest family portrait.
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