‘Genderless’ Baby Controversy Heats Up

A couple in Canada have decided to raise their child ‘genderless’. Not as a boy, or as a girl, but as a human. Their idea came from a children’s book written in 1978 titled:  X, A Fabulous Child’s Story by Lois Gold. The story follows  X whose refusal to subscribe to gender norms frustrates others but X ultimately becomes a well adjusted child.

Baby Storm’s parents say they don’t want their child to feel pressured about gender the way their two older sons, Jazz and Kio, were. “If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs,” said David Stocker, Storm’s father. Admittedly, most people do ask about the sex at the time of birth, but I’ve only ever asked out of curiosity. And, yes, I do want to know because like it or not, we do true boy babies and girl babies slightly different. We use terms like “big boy” for sons and “pretty girl” for daughters. We are sometimes less tolerant if a boy cries in fits and more comforting if a girl does. “I regret that (Jazz) has to discuss his gender before people ask him meaningful questions about what he does and sees in this world, but I don’t think I am responsible for that — the culture that narrowly defines what he should do, wear and look like is,” Jazz and Storm’s mom Kathy Witterick said.

But while there is a certain amount of pressure to fit into gender roles, there is a large amount of leeway. Many parents will their children explore new non-gender specific areas. Little girls play with trucks and like blue. Little boys play with dolls and smear on makeup. Granted, there are some parents who do severly punish their children for acting like a “sissy” or ridicule them for trying to to be a boy. But in those cases, like in Storm’s case, it’s the PARENTS who are applying the pressure to conform or not conform in this case. But biology often is what it is. Sometimes little girls express their femininity early on. They cuddle and nurture and look to the women in their life as examples. And whether or not Storm’s parents realize it, they are acting out gender roles every day. Roles their child is watching and observing and learning from. It’s how he or she is going to grow into themselves. As women, we grew from example and to a certain extent from environment.

And as babies don’t understand their gender roles until they around three, the effort at infancy seems moot and harmful to the other children. Storm’s brothers know their siblings gender. They’ve been instructed not to tell anyone. How is that fair? And let’s face it says Susan Stiffelman a columnist for ParentDish,  ”The truth is, I don’t see remotely how that is possible. As soon as that child goes pee-pee it’s going to be over.” And it seems rather ridiculous that Storm’s parents think that having a gender identity is limiting. I don’t feel any less of a person because I was raised as a girl. I’m treated differently because I am–rightly or wrongly. But having a gender identity has helped me build my womanly strengths. My feminine traits are a part of who I am. I would be offended if someone looked at me and chose NOT to see me as a woman. Gender does not always mean objectification, weakness, lack of power or judgement. It can mean strength and empowerment and identity. Good luck little Storm. I hope you scream to the world your sex! Loud and proud and let your silly parents know you are OK with being a _______________.